Travel, travel tips

A Millennial’s Guide to Cruising

_Cayman Islands

I’m 28. Love my iPhone. Can’t stop posting on Instagram. Would kill for a bougie eggs benedict brunch after a night of drinking craft beer where I ubered or biked home. My current obsessions may or may not be anything related to cactuses or the color known as “millennial pink.” You guessed it.. I’m a mother fucking millennial. Deal with it.

I can’t help it. I 100% fall into millennial stereotypes sometimes. But I’m not lazy/entitled/still living with my parents – all millennial stereotypes that older generations give us because they don’t fucking know us. BUT ANYWAY, since I do make my own money, I can afford and indulge in travel. One of my and my husband’s (yep married millennials over here!) recent travel obsessions are cruises.

_Roatan Honduras chairlift

Now I’m not a cruise connoisseur, since I’ve only gone on two cruises, but there are a couple things I’ve noticed that I feel inclined to share about cruising with my fellow millennials.

We have gone on a Caribbean cruise with Princess and an Alaskan cruise with Norwegian. Cruises are a great all-inclusive travel option that are fairly affordable. Now I know that cruises have this stereotype of being full of individuals of an older generation, which is somewhat true. There are a number of different cruises out there though, from Disney cruises to swinger cruises to even a damn millennial cruise.

However on your average cruise, you’ll find all different types of people on the ship. But I’ve come to find that millenials aren’t necessarily the target cruiser, so that is why you should read my simple millennial guide to cruising.

There ain’t internet unless you pay for it.

You won’t find free wifi on the ship. The only wifi you’ll find will cost you around $20 a day. I know, fucking steeeeep. So either learn how to detach yourself from your phone or dish out the money. We found that free wifi was readily available in the port cities though. Visit a restaurant, cafe or lounge to soak up that sweet, precious wifi and to upload your cruise pics to Instagram when you find yourself back on solid ground.

You may have to kill for a spot at the adult pool.

Do yourself a favor and go to the adult pool. Now if you’re a millennial with kids, you can’t indulge in the adults-only oasis. However the larger, community pools typically have live DJs, so that’s a plus side of hanging out with the kiddos. Now the only downside of the adult’s only pool is that that the poolside loungers here are always taken by way-too-tan senior citizens, who I swear to god stay there from sunup to sundown. I wish I could tell you the secret to snagging a coveted, shaded seat near the adult pool, but I can’t. Get there early? Get there late? Off your left arm in exchange for a spot? Good luck with that.

The club is less poppin’ than you think.

I love a good twerk sesh. Seriously, dancing is one of my “things.” If you’re hoping to find love on the dance floor during your cruise, lower your fucking expectations. I went to the late night club, hoping to get down to some Drake, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, or Selena (Gomez but I’ll take the OG Selena too). But the DJ was playing Top 40 hits from 2015 (which is fine I love a good throwback) but the vibe just wasn’t as lit (I hate myself for using that word but here I am) as I was hoping. The crowd was older than me, so I can see how disappointed a single millennial may be if they were wanting to find another single millennial here.

The yoga classes are a joke.

Save your $14. If your used to a rigorous vinyasa flow or well-instructed restorative class, you’re better off self guiding your own flow than attending a yoga class on the ship. The instructors here are not yoga instructors; they are aerobics instructors that teach yoga. So you won’t find zen or hear any Sanskrit.  Also it is catered to beginners, so you’ll be lucky if you’re prompted to even do a chaturanga.

Skip the excursions.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but skip the damn onshore excursions. To me, hell is on earth… and it’s being stuck with a group of tourists for 5 hours. The excursions are typically way too expensive, and you’ll be forced to socialize and share your vacay with a group of people you don’t even know for the whole day. We didn’t pay for an excursion on either of our cruises. On our Alaskan cruise, we found great hiking trails (and beer) in the port cities. During our Caribbean cruise, we chilled at the beach (and drank margaritas) and found some great snorkel spots all on our own.

The drink package is both worth it and not worth it.

Ohhhh the drink package. Should you buy it? It’s typically a few hundred dollars more per person, so it’s an expensive add on. Now if you’re a big drinker, I could see the package being worth it. We purchased the drink package for one cruise and not the other. When we had the drink package, we drank fancy cocktails and tasted new wines. On the cruise without the drink package, we did indulge in some drinks, which are around $7-$9, but ended up drinking onshore at the port cities for a lot cheaper. See, that’s the thing… you’ll be at port all day so you won’t necessarily utilize the drink package on port days. But on days where you’re at sea all day, the package is nice to have. It’s a dilemma. Rich people problems, I guess.

Attend raffles.

On port days, you’re stuck on the ship so you might as well attend all the free raffles that are hosted onboard. You could win a free spa treatment or free diamond earrings or free art. We actually won free art on our first cruise since we were present at the raffle. It gives you something to do, and there is a possibility of you winning some cool, free shit.

Take dramamine or get drunk.

Seasickness (motion sickness) is a thing. Don’t let people tell you it isn’t. For me, it means a headache and light nausea. Since I am somewhat of a cruising newb, I didn’t think to bring medicine for seasickness, so I got drunk instead. I find that when I’m a bit tipsy, I don’t notice the rocking ship as much. Whaddya know?


Ship’s ohoy y’all!

If you made it this far, you’re obviously not a millenial. But I still love you anyway! SUBSCRIBE ALREADY!

Read my other cruise post: Hiking Alaska’s Port Cities

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